Oshiin

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How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man:
Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee:
Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man:
I never filled out an application.
Employee:
Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man:
No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee:
Well, but that doesn't-
Man:
AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee:
But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man:
OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee:
Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man:
Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee:
...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man:
Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee:
That...doesn't make any sense.
Man:
NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man:
Fuck you, slut.

82,108 notes

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

(via sonneillonv)

66,069 notes

cockmeats:

be a pal and like people’s text posts. reblog their selfies. respond to their questions. even if you don’t know the answer and even if you’ve never really talked to them before. there’s nothing worse that feeling alone on a website where everyone promotes love and friendship.

(via tatianaception)

664 notes

felitomkinson:

So here’s some concept work for Gaman which you can view in hi-res here.

For those of you who missed it, in the coming months I’ll be kickstarting a manga called CENTURION (technically doujinshi for now since I don’t have a publisher yet) (thank you for the info phantonhives) in hopes of being able to hire long-term assistants for a multi-volume series with a fine level of detail and polish. The kickstarter will launch along with the first chapter (around 40 pages) that I’ll be funding myself for now so I have something nice to showcase during the start of the actual crowdfunding. 

I cannot divulge too much about the plot yet because I want it to be a really big surprise, but the setting will be a post-apocalyptic neon-cityscape and it will contain sci-fi elements. It’ll be pretty action-oriented with a lot of psychological and dark themes, and aimed for a mature +17 audience. 

As a sidenote, I will be also taking the opportunity to create a cast of characters that are not only intricately planned out but also pretty LGBT+ inclusive, with the main character presented above being canonically bisexual, as well as a diverse supporting cast. Representation is a subject I’d like to fully grasp in the making of this.

I’ll be posting more concepts and updates in the next few months, so stay tuned for that. :> I’m very excited to share a story I’ve had on paper for a year now and it’s extremely hard to keep all the details to myself but I hope you’ll read the first chapter when it first launches. 

(via embraceternity)